Warning: This article covers a sensitive topic that some may find disturbing. Discretion is advised.
The world’s first sperm race was held in Los Angeles on Friday night, and it was…interesting.
Commercial real estate media outlet Traded reported that the Sperm Racing startup – which was the brainchild of Eric Zhu (Thor Ventures, Aviato), Nick Small (the youngest sold-out founder in cryptocurrency), Shane Fan (Waterfall Market) and Garret Niconieko (Vertical Media, ex-Mr. Beast team) — raised $1 million in their efforts to raise awareness to a relatively taboo topic: the worldwide decline in male fertility.
“Male fertility is declining. Like a lot,” the Sperm Racing website’s “manifesto” reads. “It’s happening quietly, steadily and nobody’s really talking about it.”
“Sperm racing isn’t just a joke,” it continues. “It’s not just some viral idea for the internet to laugh at. It’s something much bigger.”
Indeed, the actual event can be described as exactly that: something much bigger than expected.
The competition itself was in a USC vs. UCLA-style format where four competitors went head-to-head at a movie studio in downtown Los Angeles. It had everything a normal fight-style event entails, including weigh-ins, statistics, pre and post-race interviews, betting opportunities, live commentary and trash talking; in fact, the competitors even sat down for an interview with TMZ to preview the competition.
Two hosts, internet personality Nina Lee and YouTuber Rhino, took turns egging on the crowd of hundreds, most of whom were USC students and supporters (UCLA appeared heavily outnumbered in the crowd, at least when told to cheer), asking suggestive, relatively profane questions surrounding “practice techniques” and lifestyle choices. Thousands more people were said to have been watching the event on a livestream.
The sperm samples were provided beforehand and presented to a “lab assistant” using a microscope on the stage, and once the samples were under the microscope, the race began. Both competitors stood inside large glass tubes on stage as the sperm navigated the course.
The microscopic racecourse, which was designed by Sperm Racing engineers to mimic the reproductive system, was projected onto several large screens around the room for optimal viewing by the screaming college students.
And yes, for those of you wondering, the sperm were clearly visible maneuvering through the circuit. During the races, fans cheered, jeered and laughed, but it was clear by this point that some were enjoying it more than others.
After the “preliminary card,” fans were treated to a halftime show from an A-list act: Ty Dolla $ign, whose set, while short, provided a much-needed energy boost.
The second “main card” (which was actually a best-of-three series) was “won” by USC.
Overall, the event itself was weirdly fascinating. There were some hiccups – audio issues, lateness from competitors, general dysfunction – but that’s to be expected from the inaugural edition of an event organized and attended primarily by college students. And seeing that many young people cheer on four men’s sperm was puzzling (and slightly alarming), but if the organizers were looking to raise awareness of male fertility rates, well…they definitely made people aware of something.
Of course, the founders of Sperm Racing are not looking at this as some kind of one-time thing; they are building a “real league” that will serve as a “real path to greatness” and are set to host open tryouts.
The founders have also invented a “Sperm Racing Professional Sperm Analysis Kit” that is said to measure sperm concentration and motility and help potential competitors “train.”
“And yes, you’ll see your racers live in action,” the Sperm Racing tryout page says. “When you’re ready, you’ll be placed onto the ‘Sperm Racing Amateur Leaderboards,’ where we scout the next generation of professional athletes. One day, racing sperm could be your full-time career.”
More information on the future Sperm Racing league is said to be coming soon.
